


How to not be scared of your soulmate

by OnePhoenix



Series: The Fakes and their Soulmates [2]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: GTA AU, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-11 00:17:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20144395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnePhoenix/pseuds/OnePhoenix
Summary: After a torture session with the Vagabond, Gavin and Ryan safely make it home, where he now has to learn to not be scared of his soulmate.





	1. Patching up

Ryan untied Gavin, careful hands helping him up. Fuck, could he even walk? 

Watching as Gavin stumbled, Ryan sighed and lifted him bridal style, holding him close. He could come up with a lie. He didn’t need to fucking tell Geoff that he hurt his most prized hacker out of stupidity. 

Your soulmate, his mind reminded him. 

Gavin was curled up in Ryan’s arms, too tired to even bother being scared. He knew he was at least going home at this point. Ryan knew he fucked up, knew that it was a mistake what he did. It was enough punishment for Gavin. 

“So, what’s your name?” 

Ryan stopped moving, blinking at Gavin. Of course, he hadn’t told him his name yet. It never came up. Well, he could’ve when Gavin had, but he was too busy realizing he made the biggest mistake of his life. 

“Ryan.” 

“You’re terrifying, you know that?” 

This was going to be the conversation. How his soulmate was now scared of him. How everything was ruined because of him. In all the scenarios of meeting his soulmate, he never expected to almost kill them. Him. Beautiful Gavin who now had his pseudonym written on his chest. Ryan winced at the thought before gently placing Gavin in the car. 

He got in before finally answering. 

“It’s my job, Gavin, to be terrifying. It’s part of what I need to do.” 

“Well, you did a right good job.” 

He could see Gavin’s face in the mirror, something mimicking disgust. He deserved this. He deserved everything. His soulmate hating him, being disgusted with him. 

________________ 

The ride home was quiet, probably due to the fact that Gavin was sleeping for most of it. God, please let him be sleeping. He saw him breathing, but his mind could only think of the worst. 

Once at the penthouse, Ryan was careful carrying the half-awake Gavin. Just softness as he tried to show Gavin he wasn’t some kind of monster. 

When the door opened, Geoff’s face was immediately that of concern, ushering Ryan in before closing the door. 

“What the fuck happened to Gav?” 

The two looked at each other before Gavin spoke, his voice tired. 

“I was tortured. Ryan saved me.” 

That was... a lie. A half lie, but still a lie. God, would Geoff even believe him when he sees the marks on his chest spelling out his name? Would he be more lenient on him due to Gavin trying to protect him? 

“A real knight in shining armor, this one, Geoff. Killed off the torturer and all.” 

Ryan swallowed, looking down at Gavin, thankful the man was wearing his jacket. 

“Ryan’ll clean me up.” 

At that, Ryan tensed around Gavin before nodding. He didn’t trust himself to speak. Knew the truth would leave his mouth, but maybe Geoff would be kinder if he did tell the truth. The fact that he was hired to torture the Golden Boy, put the fear of god in him to make sure he stopped searching for them. But no, Gavin had his own thoughts. 

“Okay, if that’s what you need, Gav.” 

“He is my soulmate, after all. Might as well take all the time I can with him.” 

A head popped up from the couch, looking over when he heard that. 

“Gav finally found his soulmate, and he didn’t kill him like he thought. Impressive. Though, how does “I’ve got you now, Golden Boy” come up in conversation when being saved?” 

Jeremy was sitting there, smug as he stared at the three of them. 

“Easy, he said it as he was untying me, picking me up, getting me safe. Was real romantic.” 

Liar was all that Ryan could think, but he didn’t stop from pulling Gavin a bit closer to his body. 

“I’ve got him handled. Promise.” 

With that, Ryan carried Gavin to the bathroom before placing him on the edge of the bathtub. He stared at the man as he took the jacket off, wincing as he saw Vagabond sprawled across his chest. This was punishment enough, knowing his soulmate was branded by him. 

Gavin sat there, leg bouncing and looking sad and defeated, different from the front he had on for Geoff. 

“Let’s get this over with. I want to be with you as little as possible.” 

“Then why’d you say I’d clean you up?” 

“Punishment.” 

Ryan blinked for a moment before nodding and moving to get the first aid kit. He should have fought harder to meet Gavin. This was punishment, for sure. 

Kneeling in front of Gavin, he opened the first aid kit and slowly began to clean the knife wounds he had inflicted, frowning every time Gavin winced. He bandaged over Vagabond, wanting to hide that from the others for as long as possible. He was sure Gavin would want to as well. 

Soon, Gavin was cleaned and he was sitting there and sighing softly, relieved that he was cleaned. 

“Get out. I want to be alone for a few moments.” 

Ryan nodded, cleaning up the first aid kit and putting it away before leaving. 

Once he was gone, Gavin stood up and looked at himself in the mirror. He was grateful that Ryan had stayed away from his face when torturing him. He needed that. 

Looking over the bandage, he gently ran a hand along it, knowing that Ryan’s alter ego was written into his chest. That hurt a bit. Everything hurt. It hurt knowing that your soulmate was there to decimate you, scare you into stopping things. And now, now Ryan was here to protect him. But could he really do the job when Gavin was terrified of him? 

Looking around the bathroom, Gavin picked up Ryan’s jacket and shrugged it on, wrapping it around him and walking to his room before curling up in a ball, feeling tears running down his cheeks. How was he supposed to be in love when everything about his soulmate scared him?


	2. The Truth

It had been a few days since the incident, as Gavin so fondly thinks of it. He had yet to return Ryan’s jacket and the other seemed to not care, having not asked for it back. So, it was his now. He wore it as he sat at his computer, working on what he was tortured for. It shouldn’t be a problem now that the Vagabond was on his side. 

Geoff popped his head in, a frown placed on his face. 

“Gav, you’ve been in here since the torture session. Talk to me.” 

Gavin sighed and waved Geoff in, hoping he would close the door. It would be hard to explain to Geoff that his soulmate tortured the living hell out of him, but the lie was a bit hard to bear with because he could barely be in the same room as Ryan. He always left when Ryan entered, could see the pain in Ryan’s eyes, but he couldn’t stop himself. A sickening feeling was in his stomach every time he saw him. 

“Geoff, I lied about what happened.” 

“What do you mean you lied? You were obviously tortured.” 

Geoff was confused, staring at Gavin and tilting his head. He wasn’t sure what he was meaning. Gavin still was barely recovered from it all. 

“I lied about who tortured me.” 

Blinking for a moment, Geoff reached out to touch Gavin’s arm, but the other pulled away. It hurt that Gavin was so hurt, but Geoff wasn’t about to push things. 

“Who did it? Who do I have to kill?” 

Gavin sighed, looking up at Geoff sadly. 

“Ryan did it. He... was sent by the crew that I was looking in to. He didn’t know it was me. I didn’t know it was him. We had never seen each other before, Geoff. It’s not his fault...” 

Gavin didn’t know why he was protecting Ryan. He was hurt so badly and he should want revenge on the other man, but his heart still wanted to make sure his soulmate was okay. But he was scared. Scared as all hell of Ryan. 

So, maybe it made sense why Gavin almost always left the room when Ryan entered. Geoff was a bit confused but he figured it was because Gavin didn’t really want to spend time with everyone anymore. Knew he was still recovering and thought that he needed time away. Not that Ryan was the one who hurt him. 

Geoff took a deep breath. He didn’t want to yell and scare Gavin more, but he could feel his blood boiling inside of him. 

“He did what to you?” Geoff’s voice was harsh, too harsh, as Gavin shrunk into the too big jacket. 

“He, well, he tortured me. But it’s okay! I’m here! Alive. We figured it out. I just... don’t want to be near him for too long right now.” 

Geoff clenched and unclenched his fists, still taking his time breathing. He’d have to have a word, or a fight, with Ryan. 

“He’s supposed to be protecting you, Gavin. Not hurting you.” 

“You should’ve pushed harder for us to meet.” 

“Don’t put the blame on me.” 

“Sorry.” Gavin whispered. “It’s just hard. Your soulmate isn’t someone who tortured you!” 

“But imagine the toll of being a soulmate to Rimmy Tim,” he teased. 

It was not a time for teasing as Gavin frowned deeply, shaking his head. 

“He’s sweet, I think. I’m sure he can be sweet, but I’m so scared, Geoff.” 

“Give him a chance to redeem himself?” 

“It’s hard when Vagabond is carved into your chest.” 

Geoff’s heart clenched at that, a frown settling itself on his face, bringing down his features with it. 

“He did what to you?” 

“I... I shouldn’t have said anything.” 

Before Gavin could stop him, Geoff was out the door. Shit. 

_____________ 

Geoff was, to put it lightly, unhappy. In a more harsh sense, he was furious, ready to kick Ryan’s ass into next year. But he couldn’t do that. He just needed to learn why carving the word Vagabond into his Golden Boy was a good idea. 

Poor Ryan didn’t know what was coming until he was ripped from his seat, where he was playing video games with Jeremy and Michael, and dragged across the room until he was against a wall, eye to eye with an angry Geoff. 

“What the fuck did you do to my boy?” he growled. 

Shit. How’d Geoff find out? Out of the corner of his eye he saw Gavin sprinting into the room before he almost cowered at the sight of him, or was it Geoff he was scared of now? 

“Geoff, stop! He didn’t know!” 

Gavin hated that he told Geoff, knew it was a bad idea. He’d lied plenty before but lying to the crew was harder. They were like family to him. A big, messed up family. 

Gavin must have told Geoff, but he obviously didn’t realize the outcome of telling him such a thing. Ryan sighed deeply, letting himself almost melt against the wall as he put on a cool demeanor. 

“Just my job. Didn’t know it was Gav or else I wouldn’t have hurt him, Geoff. Wouldn’t hurt one of the crew willingly.” 

But he was still newer. Still an enigma towards everyone. It was hard to tell what was the truth from him. Though, this was the truth. Had he known it was Gavin from the start, he never would’ve laid a hand on him. 

“You carved your fucking name into him.” 

“It was scare tactic, Geoff. You’re using it on me right now.” 

And boy was it working, but Ryan wouldn’t let it show. He regretted hurting Gavin. Would admit to the fact he regretted it, but he wasn’t sure now. Wasn’t sure how anyone in the room would react due to the fact that he could feel their stares on him. 

He watched Geoff bring up a fist but before it could make contact with his face, a soft hand was on his arm, dragging him away as Geoff punched the wall instead, cursing loudly. The hand was gone as quick as it was on him. 

Looking over, he saw Gavin, who looked smaller in his jacket than he expected. Everything about Gavin in that moment seemed small. Not like the Golden Boy he’d been told about. 

Ryan took a step away from everyone, eyes not leaving Gavin. He did that. He hurt him so badly that he had to make himself small. 

“Geoff, please, no fighting,” Gavin whispered. 

Geoff swallowed and looked between Gavin and Ryan. He could tell Ryan had remorse about what he did. Could see it in his eyes. It didn’t mean he didn’t want to punch the living daylights out of him. But he wouldn’t for Gavin. 

“Fine.”


	3. The "Talk"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are brief mentions of torture and some beat downs in this chapter

Slowly the room emptied out, Geoff dragging Jeremy off to blow off steam while Michael followed after Jack to play some video games, leaving Gavin and Ryan alone for the first time since. 

Gavin moved to the couch, making himself small in the corner. Ryan sighed deeply, moving to sit on the opposite side, looking at Gavin. 

“Can we talk?” 

If Ryan hadn’t been looking at Gavin, he wouldn’t have seen him nod slightly. Even then, he could barely tell that Gavin was nodding. This was going to be a... difficult conversation. 

“I’m sorry I hurt you Gavin. Just because... just because I didn’t know it was you doesn’t give me the right to have hurt you the way I did. I know it’s only been a few days, but the guilt has been eating me alive, knowing I hurt the one who’s supposed to love me, made them scared of me. I... I know I may have ruined any chance with you, but I also want to promise to protect you from... well, from people like me. I know... I know it may not mean much, but, I don’t know, I want to give you something for doing something so terrible.” 

Gavin listened, keeping his eyes on Ryan as he spoke. He wanted to make sure that he looked like he was paying attention instead of ignoring this. It seemed like Ryan was struggling with the words to say, but was genuine. It made Gavin happy that he at least was regretting his actions. 

When Ryan was finished, he looked to Gavin, waiting for an answer. 

“Ryan, I... I don’t know what we can be, but, I’m glad you’re showing remorse for your actions. It makes it easier to forgive you for what happened. It still hurts, is still fresh, and I’m still a little scared of you, honestly. But I’m willing to try something when... when this lessens.” 

Ryan nodded as Gavin finished. It was better than the rejection he thought he was going to face. That Gavin wasn’t going to be willing to try anything with him, and he wouldn’t have blamed him. He feels what he did was unforgiveable and here’s Gavin, willing to give him a chance when things get better. It made Ryan’s fast beating heart slowly begin to calm. 

“Thank you, Gavin. I don’t deserve it but I’m glad you’re willing.” 

“I get to choose who deserves my forgiveness, and you do, just, just not yet. I need to heal, Ryan.” 

“I understand that, Gavin. I’ll give you all the time in the world.” 

“Thank you.” 

___________________ 

Later that day, Michael came to Gavin’s room, sitting down on the edge of his bed. He was curled up in Ryan’s jacket, in a ball, staring at the television as he watched a show. 

“Gav, what’s wrong? You’ve been off and Geoff almost beat the shit out of Ryan, shouting shit about something he did to you. What really happened?” 

Michael was trying to be soft, hand moving onto Gavin’s shoulder as he slowly moved closer. Gavin tilted his head, moving closer to Michael until the two were curled up together, lowering the volume of the television to talk. 

“He... Well, uh, Ryan. He was the one who tortured me. He carved his name into my torso...” 

He felt Michael tense up, pulling Gavin closer to him. 

“He hurt you?” 

“Yea, but he didn’t know it was me, Michael. I don’t blame him, I don’t... forgive him yet, but... maybe one day.” 

“But he hurt you.” 

“I know, and it’s still fresh, Michael. It’s still fresh and I’m allowed to be hurt.” 

“I never said you weren’t allowed to be hurt, Gavin, but you don’t have to forgive the asshole for hurting you. You don’t owe him anything.” 

“He didn’t know, though. I don’t blame him for it, he was just doing a job, Michael. We’ve all done things we’ve regretted.” 

“But we’ve never hurt each other, not even not knowing. Not like this, at least.” 

“I know, Michael, I know. It’s okay, though. I just need to heal.” 

Michael sighed. He knew he wouldn’t get through to Gavin, convince him that he needed to be angry. That he didn’t need to forgive Ryan for this. Gavin was softer than he was, even now as they were curled up together. Gavin was relaxed, even talking about everything and Michael was tense, curled around Gavin protectively. 

Michael waited until Gavin was asleep, slowly untangling himself from the other man, putting a blanket over him and slowly leaving the room. It was still early enough that the others would be awake, but Gavin had been sleeping relatively early or not at all. 

He was on the search for Ryan, thinking the other would be in his room. Not even knocking, he walked inside and locked the door, looking at him with anger in his eyes. Ryan sighed deeply standing up and holding up his hands. 

“What’s up, Michael?” 

Michael moved to crack his knuckles, tilting his head a bit. 

“Seems like you know what’s up, Ryan.” His voice was low, threatening. 

“Michael, did you talk to Gavin?” 

“Yea, I did. And I don’t care what he says, you hurt my boi, Ryan. I’ve gotta teach you a lesson.” He shrugged, moving closer. 

“Now Michael, let’s not do anything rash.” 

“It’s not rash, it’s what you deserve.” 

Michael took a step forward, swinging his arm and hitting Ryan square in the cheek, knocking him back a few steps. He didn’t even flinch as Michael took another swing, hitting his nose, hard, and causing Ryan to hear a crack. That was going to leave a mark on him. 

Bringing a hand to his face, he didn’t protect his stomach as Michael hit him again, knocking him to the ground. Ryan wiped his nose, wincing and seeing blood. Michael took one kick at him before walking away, pleased with what he had done. 

The door closed loudly, leaving Ryan laying on the floor, breathing through his mouth as he slowly moved, wincing. HE knew he was going to have bruises, if not a broken nose from Michael. Not that it really mattered, he deserved it. Michael was better at beating him up instead of himself. 

He pulled himself off the floor, stumbling his way to the bathroom and looking at himself in the mirror. A bruise was already forming on his cheek and around his eye, through his nose as he was bleeding. 

The bathroom door slowly opened and Ryan was ready for another fight with Michael, but it was just Jeremy, entering slowly. He sighed in relief, letting himself relax a bit as Jeremy guided him to sit down. 

“You deserved that,” were the first words out of Jeremy’s mouth. 

It made Ryan’s heart sink, nodding but stopping as things began to spin. 

“I know.” 

“He could’ve gone easier on you, though. Think your nose is broken.” 

“My nose was already crooked, doesn’t matter.” 

“Do you want some ice?” 

“Please.” 

Jeremy removed himself from the bathroom for a few minutes, leaving Ryan alone with his thoughts, breathing deeply as he reminded himself it was less than he deserved. He deserved more of a punishment for hurting Gavin, but it didn’t matter. Michael had given him the punishment he had been expecting from Geoff, but Gavin had stopped. He wouldn’t have been able to stop Michael, no matter how hard he tried. 

Jeremy returned, handing him the ice pack and Ryan put it to his nose. The bleeding had slowly come to a stop as he held the ice pack there, leaving marks on his shirt. 

“He get you anywhere else?” 

“Yea, my fucking ribs.” 

Jeremy gestured for him to lift his shirt. Doing so caused a bit of pain, but it wasn’t anything he didn’t deserve. When Jeremy made a face, he looked down at the bruising that was already there. 

“Might have bruised your ribs, cracked them? Can’t really tell from just looking but I bet that fucking hurts.” 

“You think?” 

“We should get you to the medics. They’ll be able to do more than I can for you.” 

Ryan sighed deeply, wincing in pain. He didn’t want to have to explain more than he had already done, but he would. It would suck, and he was sure there would be more people who think he deserved it, but he couldn’t just let these things go without getting checked out. 

Jeremy helped Ryan to his feet and walked with him out of the bathroom, through the rooms with glaring eyes. Would anyone be able to forgive him for what he did. Would he be able to forgive himself?


End file.
